April 2, 2012

"You're holding her hand, you're straining for words. You're trying to make sense of it all." - Casting Crowns

 chilling after a class :)

I’d be lying if i told you that nothing has happened in my life significant enough to be put in words. To tell you frankly, a gazillion things have transpired and i have no idea where to begin. Happiness has filled my days and melancholy has left my system. I will attempt to recall everything chronologically but in separate blog entries so as to maintain some order but if you get lost along my narration just bear with me.

I never meant to abandon my blog, but i do feel guilty for merely using it last year to fill up my time while being on house-arrest. This blog has been a big part of my “coping” experience and i got more determined to write when i learned that somehow i was inspiring others. 

So now it burdens me to think that not only have i abandoned my blog, i have also left my readers hanging. I don’t expect you to be checking the blog regularly but i would like to believe that perhaps just one person might be needing a little inspiration and the un-updated blog has failed to provide it.

So, it’s make-up time. 

My 5-month teaching stint has ended about 2 weeks ago with the FINAL exams. Its amazing how incredibly fast time flies. The experience has allowed me to develop my skills in speaking. I never knew i would have the patience to be talking in front of more than 50 students DAILY for an hour and still come out of it sane and calm. I thought i would morph into the “teachers” i’ve known before; snobbish, grumpy and a migraineur. On the contrary, i am proud to proclaim that i have come out of it a better speaker, a better listener and one with a fulfilled heart. Perhaps a contributing factor is my strong desire to “TEACH”...  so like i’ve said before in a previous post and what i usually say to my colleagues and fellow doctors, if you have the opportunity to teach, grab it! It will surprise you in more ways than one. Trust me.

xoxo

more stories to come sooooon.... 

and here's a sneak preview:

little woman conquers big crowd ... heheheh

because the WORLD is still a very BIG place! 


January 31, 2012

"you just gotta ignite the light and let it shine" ..... -Katy Perry

you just gotta ignite the light and let it shine" ...... -Katy Perry

hi guys... its been a long time... and i dont really have anything in mind.... so tonight im going to post my Basic Speech 4 in Toastmasters International..... :)


BREAK FREE

PRISON. BONDAGE. CUFFS. RESTRAINTS. LOCKS. Do you like those words? Would you want to be acquainted with them? Surely not. As unique creatures, we were wired to prefer the opposite. We want to be unrestraint, unbound, unlocked.
We want to be free.

But what is freedom? Are we truly free?

Merriam-Webster defines freedom as liberation from the power of another. In short, INDEPENDENCE.Throughout history, the concept of freedom has been greatly debated, often leading to war and separation.In the beginning, the snake tempted man to eat of the forbidden fruit so He would know good from evil, to free him of the bondage of innocence. During the time of Moses, the Israelites sacrificed to no longer be slaves of EGYPT. They travelled, toiled, some even died, as they claim their freedom walking through the deserts to reach the promise land. During the Katipunan, freedom for the Philippines was achieving independence from another nation, through strife, rebellion and revolt. In Anne Frank's story of the Holocaust, freedom for the JEWS was a very difficult thing to imagine. It was only given to those who denied their religion, their belief, and their families, only to those who denied themselves.

Today, the modern world’s concept of freedom may have slowly evolved, but in actuality it has remained the same.

For the working class, the concept of freedom is simple:  Like most of us who belong to that group, freedom means the absence of debts, an empty mailbox with no credit card or electric bills to pay.

For the fortunate few who are more financially stable, it may mean the power to choose whichever country to travel to. The luxury to book any flight, with worries that may include which pair of bikini to bring or which hat to wear.

Yet, on the other end of the social spectrum, freedom to the homeless may mean a piece of land... their own four walls, or maybe even, a complete meal on their table.

Freedom is often misunderstood and others think of it as the POWER to do what they want, wherever, whenever they want it, without thinking of others. Do you agree with that? I personally don’t.  I think that it is still bound by moral laws. To be free, you get to choose, you get to say things, you get to do whatever pleases you, but there has to be a clause... a disclaimer so to speak.  You must always be mindful that you are not alone in this world. WE are free to jump as high as WE want, but not to the point of stepping on others when WE land. WE are free to speak, sing, shout, but not to plunder or speak falsely of others. Freedom to be yourself is perfectly fine, so long as you acknowledge that others have their own freedom as well. So when you come to think of it, in reality, freedom is not without LIMITS.

Ironically, although it is an easy word to say, it is often very hard to find. We may no longer be anyone’s slaves, or we may not dwell inside a jail cell, but we currently live in a world where there are so many “restraints”;  so many things, emotions, people, circumstances that are “keeping” us from truly being free. These may include debts, responsibilities, even your own children, or a nagging wife, never-ending work, stagnant paychecks, highblood medications, expensive highblood medications, diseases, small house, small car, regrets, worries, disappointments. Just about anything can keep you from feeling free. For 11 months, CANCER was my biggest restraint. But i never allowed it to bind me or keep me from feeling free. And fortunately enough, about 2 weeks ago, i was declared Cancer-Free.

yes, so many things can keep u from being free, but you know what, most often than not, freedom still IS A CHOICE. So choose freedom, cut off all the chains of disappointments, release yourself from the restraint of worries, unlock and break free!

Goodevening fellow toastmasters!

January 9, 2012

" cause hopelessly, the hope is we have so much to feel good about" -OneRepublic

It has been 11 months since the day my world came close to crumbling down; 11 months since I discovered I had cancer; 11 months since I last made rounds in the hospital as a medical resident; 11 months for my life to undergo a complete "overhaul". Yes, it has been 11 long months....and I’m still alive :-)

Hurray, hurray! :)

But enough about me...

Just a few days ago I received news that an acquaintance of mine had been diagnosed with cancer... acute myeloid leukemia (AML) to be exact. If I'm not mistaken he is in his early 30's or late 20's. Yes, just like me, he's also a bit too young to be stricken with the Big C. when I found out, my jaw dropped and I became dumbstruck for a few seconds. The link to the first blog entry about his diagnosis was posted in FB and I was hesitant to open it, for fear of not knowing how to react when I’d read his story. But I clicked it anyway and my tears just began flowing non-stop upon reading the first words 'til even after I've read the entire post twice.  
It took me quite a while to compose myself. I cried so hard because somehow I was brought back to the time when I found out that I, myself, had cancer; back to that moment when my pathologist told me face to face that I had Hodgkin's Lymphoma (although it took me about 10 seconds to realize that HL was cancer... despite being a doctor); back to that unforgiving post-valentine’s day. And besides that, I was also transported back to the horrible chemotherapy days, the countless needle punctures, the notoriously painful bone marrow biopsies. 
I cried because I want NO ONE to ever go through all that....no one. 

But remarkably, after I gathered my emotions, I discovered an entirely new dimension to my story. I realized that my story does not end in being able to face cancer, hit it in the face, survive chemo and radiation and kick it in the a**. My story goes on with an amazing opportunity to be able to help this new cancer warrior... to really empathize in the truest sense of the word. to share with him everything that I’ve learned throughout this entire experience, from being able to find peace despite the never-ending "why’s" to knowing that garlic candy is a good way to curb nausea; to be able to constantly remind him that he shouldn't think of himself as being "sick" but just "resting and taking a break"; to encourage him to fight strong, because an army of prayer warriors are marching behind him every step of the way. 


My readers, if you have prayed for me, please also pray for my friend. His name is Lito and his fight has just begun. I am also aware that he has a rare blood type. I’m still not sure if they still need donors at this time, but if you know anyone who is a type O- (O negative) please let me know. 


this pretty photo of me(*ahem, hehe) was taken last MAY 2011,  3 months into my chemo...

Excerpt from my older post: After 3 sessions, running my fingers through my head was like harvesting rice in the field.  

to Lito: never worry about hair loss. .. i have plenty of wigs! :)


January 1, 2012

"i came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive....." ..... -rihanna

 "ooh la la"
"cancer sucks"

"meg"
"yay!  - meg"


our attempt on light painting using the famous "binggala" for the new year's....... :) 



HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!

December 31, 2011

"They tried to make me go to rehab, I said 'no, no, no' " ... - Amy Winehouse

june 2011 - Chammy's wedding


july 2011 - Lizette's wedding



november 2011 - Winah's wedding


december 2011 - Liz's wedding



In a span of 12 months,  I've attended four (4) of my friends' weddings and they all offer the promise of new life for the new couple... :) 

In a similar way, i welcome the new year with a new love for life...

so here's my version of a list of new year's resolutions:

1. complain less
2. say 'thank you' more often
3. laugh harder
4. regrets? forget it..
5. stop whining
6. always look at the good in people
7. confess more
8. apologize appropriately
9. expect nothing, give everything
10. smile
11. be open to suggestion
12. embrace change
13. inspire others more
14. erase indifference
15. enjoy every moment, you could die in an instant
16. savor the taste of everything u eat

and the list goes on... and on....

whats on YOUR list? :

"And so lying underneath those stormy skies, she'd say "oh ohohoh I know the sun must set to rise" -Coldplay

a letter for no one:

dear 2011,

the time has come for you to pass... but know that you will always be remembered. for you have brought more tears than any bucket can ever contain... more sorrow than a heart can ever hold. yet, you've created more promises than any1 can ever hope for. 

i wish i could say that you've been great, but that would not be true... for you have been a very long struggle... an extremely painful experience... an unforgettably tough companion. 

but i can never thank you enough for everything you so purposely planned... by being tough you've rendered me stronger. you've pushed me close to the edge of my sanity so i can truly say i'm sane enough to handle you.
 you've become my revelation. the instrument to make me realize that true friends are rare. 

2011, i say goodbye to you with a bit of sentimental nostalgia... 
and i greet 2012 hello with the promise of new LIFE. 


December 27, 2011

"I won't run, I won't fly, I will never make it by, without you" - David Guetta








a little backtrack from a few weeks past... i gate-crashed an incredibly fun party at my former workplace. although it was one of the earliest Christmas parties i had attended it exceeded all of my expectations. it immediately set the bar for my entire HOLIDAY party experience... 

but soon after though, more and more parties have far exceeded the craziness and sheer enjoyment of that night... and i will be posting pictures of the rest of these parties i attended/gat-crashed (who can tell the difference, anyway?) ... :) 

so keep posted!!

by the way, i'd like you all to meet my partner-in-crime / my very own macho dancer / my rock star / the reason for most of my RIDICULOUS LAUGHTERS ........... 


<3