"i believe in memories because they look so, so pretty when I sleep" - Jack Johnson

 cheryl and me

Cheryl's innocence

“Everything is achievable through technology” says Howard Stark, a character in a movie I recently watched on TV. I say, that’s a rather bold claim and inaccurate in so many ways. But one thing technology has infamously achieved though, is revamping society’s idea of friendship; where one can instantly add someone to be a friend and numbers can go up to the thousands. But is it the real deal? Not even close.

 True friendship has deeper roots than a mere click of an “accept” button. It's that bond you have with someone that has been tested time and time again. And again. and again. That someone who holds on tight when life pushes you to the edge of your emotions and snaps you back right before you lose yourself completely. 

I got a visit from 2 friends yesterday, like a blast from my past. The room was instantly filled with laughter, eating bananas and mangoes while goofing around with hairpieces (wigs). Although the time spent was short, it was filled with love and a flashback of good memories. Not only have they made me smile that day, they're also breathing reminders of why I’ve remained positive and moderately sane amidst my personal crisis. 

Yes, friends can do that and more. They’d cancel other appointments for the day just so you’ll have company. They will disturb you in the middle of your snooze because they dreamt of you and got superstitious and worried something might have happened to you. They’ll give you the better seat in the movies; and will offer to eat the rest of the popcorn so you’ll get fewer calories. They are the ones left behind when everyone else have scrammed, because a flying cockroach is on the loose. They're your lifeguard, your box of secrets, your release valve.

Today and everyday I give thanks to all my friends. They've been my allies, my prayer warriors. Without them, a simple gush of wind will seem like a hurricane. BUT with them, a discovery that you have cancer will feel like a small blister. Nothing you can't handle ;)  

above of photos of me and my visitors yesterday, and a very old gift from another friend, her own work of art. True friends, old or new, are pieces of art you'd want to keep forever. 

"I can't stay on your life support, there's a shortage in the switch" .... -Pink

an idea!

Saging, Santol, Mangga, Bayabas, Avocado

 Orange, with her blank stare

 Orange and Ocean getting dried after a bath

Ocean , being calm as always

 the top lightbulb is busted

the culprit

Yesterday I officially launched this blog in the only social-networking site that I currently know how to use: FB.

You may find it a bit ridiculous to have waited 'til I’ve written at least 3 posts before letting the world know it existed. I didn't want to disappoint my audience with just a single post, now that would simply be painful and cruel. tehehehe

but I’m happy to report that it had quite a flattering reception, which also means I’ll be a tad more conscious of my writing, knowing at the back of my mind that somewhere, someone is actually reading this.

I’ve been banking myself with loads of fruits and fruitjuices for the past two days in a desperate attempt to hamper a viral infection. One that would be inconsequential to most, but definitely hair-raising to me and my immunocompromised state. But much to my dismay, it did hit me, and a mega-dose of Vitamin C isn't going to curb it. Which gives me an inspiration to write about health and staying healthy. I am not going to tell you things like what to eat or what NOT to eat. Its not even going to be about trying to achieve those impossible-to-get-abs women in beauty magazines flaunt. You can easily search the web for that. Instead, I’ve decided to reflect on thoughts that make one healthy.

Yes, you heard me right; I did say “thoughts”, the exercise of the mind in any of its higher forms. And it does possess the power to keep you healthy just as good as a balanced diet keeps you fit. Keep an open mind, explore, create, think happy thoughts. Be bold, but sensitive. Be colorful but simple. Be a creature like no other, but always be mindful of others. Steer away from being cynical, it is infectious and rots your brain faster than narcotics. Enrich your mind with positivity, creativity and moderate self-indulgence. Think hard, and dream big, but stay grounded. You will be amazed at the transformation. If not, then you are only pretending.

A thousand of your brain cells die everyday, so why waste time using them on thoughts that make  you miserable, unwanted, unaccomplished? I say, invest on healthy thoughts! :) 

Above are photos I took today of 1: a light bulb, 2: some of the fruits I’ve eaten, 3: my dogs, Ocean and Orange (I wonder what their thoughts are), 4: an abandoned dresser mirror with a busted light bulb (see, ideas that are dull and busted, will never work!). :)

if you're happy and you know it ....

There will be days when you have no idea where you are going or what you should be doing. And it won't be easy trying to figure 'em out. But then again, we all will eventually go somewhere or do something, whether we planned it or not. 
That's life.  

We will come to a certain crossroad in our life where the different roads lead to different dreams. Some roads are more like other people's expectations, not your own. And you stand in the middle of all that, and you have to choose 1 road to follow. Most of us in our mid-twenties are to make a choice and make it now. Society expects us to choose the road that projects the best of us, but do we really want to go there? Should we really sacrifice our dreams for other people's expectations? 

I have been in that crossroads once, and i have chosen 1 road. However, like most roads, there were bumps and holes. And right now, i have fallen into 1 deep hole on my road. Currently struggling with my condition, people would expect me to be depressed, sad, suicidal even. But i am none of those things. I may be sick, I may be missing out on all the things my old life offered, but I'm happy. 

My photos are non grayscale today simply because they look happier with color :) Im currently experiencing a complication of my disease lately but it doesn't mean i cant live life the way i want to :)

"lies that life is black and white" .... -bob dylan

i received a huge package today from my relatives in the other side of the world, mostly containing clothes n shoes. i enjoyed browsing through all the colorful fabric and thingamagigs inside the box that after everything was sorted out, i decided to write why this blog is named 'white on black background' 

going through the kind of life that i have, i see life as an image bursting with colors. the pinks and blues of friendships, mixed with the reds of love and hate, added with shades of purple of career and dreams, amidst foundation of yellows of family scattered on canvas, like some artist's masterpeice. 

everyone with normal color vision would see life that way. but what never occurred to me until now, is that life is basically in grayscale. black and white. ebony and ivory

in a more sensible way to put it, life is simply a yes or no, never a maybe. 
its give or take, all or none. because when you experience it in between, everything is vague, hanging, uncertain, incomplete. 

of course i still see life as a rainbow, filled with endless adventures and mysteries of what's to come. but i live it simply in black and white. being honest to urself, to ur family and to ur friends. to simply say what you want rather than keep them till ur emotions burst. to trust in One Sovereign Being. 
to be free of jealousy, of pride, of lust, and resentment. 

that, dear friends, is living in black and white. 

living life as a black slate, no color will look more beautiful than white. and white's not even a color. 
to paint it white i simply mean to be true. to be sensible. to be simple.

 i may live it scattering white on a black background, but i still see it as an explosion of brilliant COLORS, Hi-Def. enjoying every bit of dirt thrown my way.

above are photos i took today. photo 1 is the package. 2 is my sister's guitar. the rest are random objects outside. the heavens continue to cry and the sky is grey-ish in a way. im loving the weather lately but im slowly missing Mr. sun

a fetus

today it rained, like it always does, and i stayed home, like i always do.

 there's no better way to spend a rainy day than to start an adventure...indoors. i have been an avid reader of different blogs for many years but never a blogger. so today, with the heavy downpour and the cool wind, i embark on a journey i know i wont regret: blogging. im not sure how much fun id have coz it doesn't really sound as exciting as parasailing or deep sea diving.

 but im never gonna find out, unless i try.

i am entering a new world, so to say, because i'm not a person with many words. i would rather read than write; hang out than stay in; and would rather get calloused soles walking, than be in front of the computer typing.

so today im taking one small step for me, a giant leap for all non-bloggers.

there's a lot of uncertainty about what this blog will contain... and im not sure it will belong to a certain category. it won't be a fashion blog, nor a travel blog... but who knows, right? it might turn out to be exactly what i never imagined it to be.

so today, im writing my first blog entry.

today i am not 27.

for in this realm, i am a fetus once again.