if only my tears could drown away all my fears and disappointments... id be willing to cry an entire ocean.
don't get me wrong, I AM HAPPY. i am blessed to be alive for Christmas... and i have more than enough reasons to be festive and joyful. i do thank GOD with my utmost sincerity, for giving me the chance to celebrate this season with JOY and EXCITEMENT, that despite the horrible ordeal i went through for most of this year; despite the unforgettable horrors of chemotherapy and the unforgiving burns of radiation, Christmas arrived with great gifts : LIFE and LOVE.
but tonight i cried.... for reasons that i prefer to keep to myself. i am still in constant quest for peace, that transcends all understanding. i am consumed by unmet expectations, never ending frustrations and an unrealistic lack of patience. tonight i forgot how lucky i am to still be alive. tonight i failed God.
indeed, if crying were an escape to all of life's problems, we'd be drowning in tears. and what an exhausting escape it would be! fortunately, a simple prayer and a little faith provides more than just a way out... they offer comfort, shelter and peace. it's all a matter of remembering which ones to use.... exhaustion through tears or freedom through prayer.
so tonight i cried . . . but only for a little while. . . then i started to pray . . . for quite a long time. . .
choose wisely, save ur tears.
happy holidays!
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